I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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