you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
