I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
