This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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