and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You can't special order awesome
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
