Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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