mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
