i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
