dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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