i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
