To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
