He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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