WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
