I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
