"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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