I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
