Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
