I wanna passion pit in your ass
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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