is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
