got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize