I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
