yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Drunk is not a location!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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