if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
