just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
sarcasm needs its own font
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize