He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
