i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
