it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
