I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
