I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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