My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
