somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
