Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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