guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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