So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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