you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
