My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
