What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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