well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize