nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
