I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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