worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
