fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
