I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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