Your dad touched me again.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
