Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
