He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
