I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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