Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
