i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
