there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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