I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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