At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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