I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
