cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
