I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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