So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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