I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize