"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
