Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
They have beer where we have blood.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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