hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
