oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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