why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I could make wine with my vomit
either way he was missing a nipple.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
