I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Someone shit on the floor
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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