to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
