is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
