Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
