How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
