Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
