In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
