It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
