Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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