New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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