At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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