Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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