I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
