Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Someone came in the potted fern
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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