i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
