turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
